Sometimes we southerners pride ourselves on being considered quirky. We keep secrets. We gossip. But being polite is not negotiable. Think Tennesee Williams. Think a faded and fragile damsel in distress who everyone knows  drinks at least a fifth of whiskey a day. 

I am only speaking for myself, but I think we may have an obsession with being nice. We tolerate horrible treatment from others as long as they are nice. We are allowed to be hateful as long as we follow up with the stereotypical  and insincere”bless his heart”. And sometimes we speak in odd ways. I don’t just “go to the store”. I am “fixin’ to go to the store.” I don’t “go to bed” when I am sick. I “take to the bed”. I don’t have a headache, I have one of “my headaches”. When things are just going along as usual,  they are “dry long so”. 

I rarely hear a lot of the animal-themed descriptions so abundant in movies about southerners. I have never once uttered “madder than a wet hen” or “happier than a pig in slop”. Maybe because I am a vegetarian. Hard to get a lot of emotion behind a phrase using tofu.

This is 2020; the year that has become a Jeopardy answer. I’ll take fear and angst for 100 please. Answer: 2020 Question: Is this terrible year ever going to end? And in light of the world we live in, if being courteous is the worst thing you can say about me, I’m OK with that. Call me quirky, but call me for dinner. Bless my heart.