This chart – likely meant as a non-verbal way to  indicate pain levels could also represent my obsession with my hair. A smiley face is a good hair day and I am feeling confident and feminine and hopeful. A frownie face means I have lost the battle to tame my locks and resorted to umpteen pins, hair laquer to corral it or a hat.

*See REALITY CHECK below

My curly hair has behavior issues. Truthfully? I envy anyone who can actually choose their hairstyle and wear it the same way everyday. And also those whose hair doesn’t lose all its direction and intention as soon as rain is even forecast.  Frizz is the enemy of elegance in my mind triumphing over any fabulous clothes, jewelry or even great shoes I am wearing.

Cooler weather gives me some respite as wearing a knit cap is normal for the season. Out of sight, out of mind. I have tried fooling the mirror with wigs, with falls and a horsetail-looking hairpiece called a chignon. I have straightened my hair with nasty chemicals, actually ironed it on an ironing board and slept fitfully for years on giant rollers.

Long before Broadway saw HAIR!, it has been my obsession since  memories of grade school. Who knows how the brain chooses an obsession? It is embarrassing to admit that yes, my hair has often been the boss of me.

Lest you think I only judge my own hair, my obsession extends to TV and movies. I am so distracted by a bad wig that I lose the ability to enjoy a film.  My curiosity about extensions is affirmed when I can see where they are attached. See? I KNEW that wasn’t her/his real hair.

*In a world filled with real suffering, pain and tragedy, my hair obsession is a flaw of character. I am grateful for my good health, full head of hair and good sense that allows me to know that my fixation with my hair is shallow, vain and of no real importance to anyone on earth other than me. Is it a self-centered waste of time and energy? Of course it is. Maybe this confession (although no secret to anyone close to me) will make me a kinder, gentler critic when I pass my reflection.