Oh no! I was looking in the mirror this morning and I have been robbed. The following is my dialogue with the Universe after I decided to report the theft.

ME: I’d like to report a robbery.

OFFICER UNIVERSE: Certainly. What seems to be missing?

ME: Well, let’s start with my eyebrows. 

OFFICER UNIVERSE: Huh?

ME: They are much thinner than they use be. You know now that I think about it, my hair isn’t as thick as it use to be either.

OFFICER UNIVERSE: Uh, OK. Anything else? 

ME: Yes. My muscle tone seems to have disappeared overnight as well.

OFFICER UNIVERSE: When is the last time you saw them?

ME: I am not sure. Maybe when I was 25? 30? 35?

OFFICER UNIVERSE: I see…so that’s all that’s missing?

ME: Well, I can’t read without readers from the dollar store.  

OFFICER UNIVERSE: A few more questions. Other than a few minor changes due to normal aging, are you well? Do you have the ability to walk? drive? eat what you like?

ME: Yes, but…

OFFICER UNIVERSE: Are you still learning and creating?

ME: Yes.

OFFICER UNIVERSE: May I suggest that you protect yourself in the future from frivolous vanity and judgment? 

ME: Yes! Tell me how.

OFFICER UNIVERSE: Nothing beats gratitude for taking lyour life in stride.

ME: Thanks officer. I really needed that reminder today.